Crappy dialouge and asumptions
Posted by Philomela on March 18, 2008
Renegade Evolution made a post in which she said
Oh, and there are sooooo many people who just need to fuck off and shut their mouths. I am pondering a new policy…if you’ve never done sex work or been prostituted…you need to just shut the fuck up. You are not Judge Dredd, you are not the law.
In fact, you want to know what a lot of sex workers say, even unhappy ones? “I hate peoples assumptions about me”
And though I disagree with her position on sex work I totally agree with what shes saying here, because plenty of people who have never been involved in the sex trade feel free to tell those who have what its like for them and how they feel about it.
But I wanted to build some bridges and have a real dialouge about it so I wrote
But where does that leave those of us who have been prostituted and still want people who buy sex criminalised?
Though I do agree with the assumption thing, it never occurs to anybody ever that I was prostituted. Because that obviously doesnt happen to women who are (now) educated and middle class.
and Ernest green replied to me with
And anonymous, your personal desire to see sex buyers criminalized does not take precedence over the human cost to other women of such retrogressive ideas. Check out what Swedish sex workers, linked from this blog just a few threads down, think of that great idea.
So where does that leave you? On the opposite side from every sex worker who hasn’t had your good fortune and still needs to make a living in what is already a very hard business.
I expect ignorant comments like these on some sites, but when they crop up here, that’s truly a dark day.
This just pissed me off, I know I was lucky to get out but the word “fortune” in no way relates to any of my experiences as a prostituted woman, because yeah I’m just so lucky to have been repeatedly gang raped and beaten up for two years, to have had knives and bottles used on me, to have had a broken rib, a forced miscarriage, to be living with post traumatic stress disorder, what is “fortunate” about that.
When people come and want to dialog honestly and you know maybe learn stuff, making massive assumptions about their lives and experiences and completely dismissing them means they are probably going to stop listening to you.
For my part I do think sex work is not good for anyone involved or a wider society but i also think people involved in sex work should have access to health care, education, housing, and be able to be safe and get their safety concerns taken seriously.
Obviously some women do choose to do sex work but if all women in the world had access to other jobs and financial security and places to go so they could get out of the industry then I’d be more comfortable believing that those that say they choose it actually do choose it rather than it being the only option or the best of several bad options.
I know I need to learn more about those working in the sex trade, and that’s why I read Rens blog and Boundnotgagged but that doesn’t mean my own views should be dismissed, if its important to listen to all people who’ve been involved in the sex industry then we should be listening to those we disagree with also.